Frequently Asked Questions

How to use our site safely and effectively, a letter from our president

Is the Free Membership really free?
What are the advantages of Gold Circle membership?
How long has your organization been in existence?
Is online dating safe?
Why is this site safer than other sites?
Do you require background checks?
What do the Gold Circle background checks cover?
What will cause an application to be rejected?
Do you have any tips for using this site?
What is the age range of your members?
Are there more men or more women members?
I am an older women, is it possible for me to find a gentleman near my age?
Are there women who are willing to meet older gentlemen?
What is your Privacy Policy?
What are the Gold Circle Privacy Options?
What are the Gold Circle membership dues?

Additional Questions?
Please contact us at membership@intelligentdating.net

Is the Free Membership really free?
Yes! It is truly free! Free members can send and receive messages for free; there is no time limit to this privilege. No credit card required. We only ask that you treat your fellow members with courtesy, honesty and respect.

Free members can exchange full messages with Gold Circle members and smile messages with free members. As a free member you can use smile messages to find fellow free members who would like to meet you.

To meet through most sites both persons must be currently paid members, we only require one person to be a paid member.

What are the advantages of Gold Circle membership?
The Gold Circle is our highest level of membership; it is reserved for intelligent responsible singles who are serious about finding the right partner for a lasting relationship.

Background checks are required for Gold Circle membership. This creates a higher level of security within the Gold Circle.

Gold Circle membership will identify you as an honest, responsible, intelligent person who has placed a high priority on building a lasting relationship.

Gold Circle members receive higher placement in our search results. Gold Circle membership is indicated in profiles, search results and all messages. Gold Circle membership is also indicated in Message Center and Black Book listings.

Meet Both Free & Gold Circle Members!
As a Gold Circle member you can send Full Messages to both Free and Gold Circle members. Everyone you send message to will be able to send full replies, you do not need to worry if they are paid members.

To meet through most sites both persons must be currently paid members, we only require one person to be a paid member.

Gold Circle Privacy Options:
Listed: All members may send Full Messages to you
Limited: Hide your profile from free members*
Unlisted: Hide your profile from all members*
*Send a message to allow a member to see your profile

More Members to Choose From!
Access profiles hidden from free members

Meet More People!
People prefer to meet Gold Circle members who have passed background checks. As a Gold Circle member you will receive more messages and more replies to the messages you send.

To join the Gold Circle please click here
Modest membership dues, click here for details

How long has your organization been in existence?
We started this service in 1994 as a high quality traditional introduction service for single professionals. We now use our experience to bring the quality and security of a traditional service to online dating. To learn more about us please click here.

Is online dating safe?
Yes, if you use your brain (many people do not).

Dating sites have built in honesty checks! People who accurately describe themselves in their profile are probably very honest. The opposite is also true.

No matter how you meet a new partner, you must use caution, common sense and your intuition. You should also consider the opinions and advice of your family and friends.

Your first meeting with a prospective partner should be in a public place like a coffee shop.

Warning - On any dating site people who seem to good to be true may be scammers.

Suspicious Characteristics:
1) People with "model" pictures
2) Lovely young women willing to meet men of all ages
3) Handsome gentlemen who go to great lengths describing how religious they are
4) Anyone not living in the United States
5) Too good to be true, the tell tale sign of all scams

Never send money to someone you do not know well.

We have become quite adept at detecting and deleting scammers, we usually delete them before they can send a message. If you see a suspicious profile or receive a suspicious message please contact support.

Please click here for more information about safe dating.

Why is this site safer than other sites?
We recruit honest, responsible singles who seek lasting relationships. Most persons of ill repute would have no interest in our communities.

Our "members only privacy" policy deters casual internet surfers who are not interested in establishing long-term monogamous relationships.

Dating sites have built in honesty checks! People who accurately describe themselves in their profile are probably very honest. The opposite is also true.

Our carefully designed profiles will help you make better honesty checks.

Do you require background checks?
Background check are required for Gold Circle members. For a higher level of security you may limit your correspondence to Gold Circle members.

We have provided a high quality service since 1994, our experience has confirmed the value of criminal records background checks.

What do the Gold Circle background checks cover?
We start the background check by verifying identity using a combination of name, date of birth and address information. A partial social security number match is made to confirm the identity. Criminal records are checked on a national level, then on a state and/or county level, depending on the jurisdiction a particular member resides in.

The background checks do not include credit checks. Your personal finances are none of our business. Legal issues would bar us from running credit checks even if we were so inclined.

We use reliable sources with years of experience in utilizing public records data. Background checks are not guaranteed to find every criminal incident, or verify marital status and date of birth, however they are an effective deterrent to individuals who do not meet our high standards of membership.

What will cause an application to be rejected?
We are particular; we will reject all felony convictions and most misdemeanor convictions other than traffic tickets and minor issues. More than one DUI and/or DWI conviction within the past seven years will also cause rejection. Restraining orders may be cause for rejection, these are considered on a case-by-case basis.

Our advertising emphasizes that we serve honest, responsible singles and that we require background checks for Gold Circle membership. Our site does not appeal to most people with criminal records.

However, we still find issues that cause us to reject applicants. Rarely do we see felonies, however we do see misdemeanor offences and restraining orders that indicate to us that a prospective member is not suitable for membership.

Do you have any tips for using this site?
Yes, to learn how to safely and effectively use our site, please click here.

What is the age range of your members?
With five communities we have a very wide age range:

Young Singles Net: Minimum age 18, most members are in the 18 – 40 age range.
Children Yes!: Minimum age 18, most members are in their 20s, 30s & 40s.
Single Professionals: Minimum age 21, members are chiefly in the 30s, 40s, 50s & 60s.
Responsible Singles: Minimum age 21, primarily singles in their 50s, 60s & 70s, including active intelligent middle aged, retired, semi-retired and senior singles.
Kind Love Christian Singles: Minimum age 21, Christian single adults of all ages.

Are there more men or more women members?
We keep a good gender balance in all age ranges, although there is a tendency to have more women than men in the over 50 age range and to have a few more men than women in the under 30 age range. As with most dating sites we do have more women then men, however we have plenty of both in all of our communities.

I am an older women, is it possible for me to find a nice man near my age?
Yes there are older men who are willing to date women their own age. Our Responsible Singles, Single Professionals and Kind Love Christian Singles communities include many retired and semi-retired senior gentlemen.

As you well know older women need to use a little more effort and persistence to find a good man. This is the main reason you should join at least one of our communities.

After you join be proactive! Don’t just sit there and wait for gentlemen to send messages to you. You should send First Messages to gentlemen on a regular basis. I know that women often prefer to be pursued by a gentleman. That’s fine, you can be pursued all you like, but first you have to get his attention. ;-)  In our experience women make send less than 25% of the First Messages, this is indeed unfortunate.

You will have more gentlemen to choose from if you are open to meeting men who are somewhat older than you. Most of the gentlemen in our communities are active and physically fit; many look considerably younger than their age.

Are there women who are willing to meet older gentlemen?
Yes, we have women who are willing to meet older gentlemen. You can search for women who have indicated a willingness to meet men your age.

You will be surprised by how many attractive, active, physically fit women we have who are close to your age!

You will find it easier to get along with a woman close to your age. If you date someone much more than ten years younger than yourself you are likely to encounter a generation gap.

If you are retired or semi-retired you will probably be happier with someone who is also retired. A retired person will have more time to spend with you and you will be more comfortable with a partner who is in the same career stage as yourself.

What is your Privacy Policy?

Members Only Privacy - We serve single professionals who value their privacy, therefore we ask all visitors to establish memberships before they access profiles of our members.

To establish membership visitors must answer at least half of the questions on Profile Page 1, and then they must answer at least half of the questions on Profile Page 2 or upload a picture.

Privacy Statement - We will not sell, rent or trade the information collected on this site to any person or organization. We use the information collected on this site to provide a high quality dating community for our clients. We supply some information to reputable professional security firms to conduct criminal records background checks on Gold Circle applicants. We do not share or supply any member information to any organizations other than the reputable security firms we use for criminal records background checks.

Your Profile - Your profile will only appear in the IDN communities you choose to participate in. To protect your privacy do not include your name or personal contact information in your profile.

Your Messages - We send messages between members without revealing email addresses. Wait until you are comfortable with someone before providing your email address or phone number.

Security - Our site utilizes advanced security technologies to protect your privacy. Critical forms are protected by 128bit encryption.

Gold Circle Privacy Options:
Listed: All members may send Full Messages to you
Limited: Hide your profile from free members*
Unlisted: Hide your profile from all members*
*Send a message to allow a member to see your profile

What are the Gold Circle membership dues?
The Gold Circle provides the Quality and Security of traditional services that charge thousands of dollars to join, however our membership dues are competitive with ordinary dating sites. Please click here for details

Additional Questions?
Please contact us at membership@intelligentdating.net